Shorts And Stiletos

There are many unanswered questions dogging us in our everyday lives; are we alone in the universe?  Why is reality television so popular?  Why is golf called a sport?  The list is frankly endless but perhaps one of the most scientifically challenging questions is related to fashion.  Can one wear shorts with stilettos and not look like white trash?

An interesting question I’m sure you’ll agree and one which deserves much more attention than it currently gets.  I propose an immediate working party set up to discuss the possibility of some sort of democratic process in which experts in the field can display their qualifications and (using a complex system of proportional representation) be voted onto a panel which will then retire to ruminate on the issue.  They will report back in 18 months following a period of isolation on the west coast of Greenland.

While all this is happening perhaps we should try a slightly less unscientific method and check out a few shots of celebrities actually modeling this look.

Let’s start with Eva Longoria, a young lady who would look good wearing twigs and dustbin bag so this isn’t really a fair test but what the hell…

Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria looking good..

I’m sure you’ll agree there’s not much wrong with that look so let’s move on to a couple of younger ladies, proving that one generation is quite happy to copy the styles of those that precede it.  This is Selina Gomez and Hailee Steinfeld doing the business and pulling it off.

Selena Gomez Hailee Steinfeld

Selena Gomez & Hailee Steinfeld

Our next contestant is the lovely Rihanna, wearing the ‘look’ with ease and grace but like Eva, it’s a bit difficult for her not too look good.

Rihanna

Rihanna

….and one more to add the icing to the top of the cake; this is the an event which took place in Australia in 2010 to break the record for the biggest stiletto run….

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Cheryl Cole In Sexy Shorts

Let’s check out a few pics of Cheryl Cole, the pint-sized Geordie lass who’s found herself at the forefront of media attention in the U.K. and the U.S. following her spells on the respective X-Factor shows.  Miss Cole has an interesting history; she came to fame in 2002 on the now defunct U.K. reality show Popstars: The Rivals when she was voted in as a member of the girl band Girls Aloud. She also had some moderate success as a solo artist.

She married footballer Ashley Cole in 2006 but was divorced in 2010 and from 2008 until 2010 featured as a judge on ITV’s X-Factor.  Cheryl is a immensely pretty girl but what does she look like in a pair of shorts?  Let’s find out…

Cheryl Cole shorts

Live on stage...

A great looking gold outfit – top, shorts, boots, everything – clearly Miss Cole is familiar with the gym.  A fantastic look.

Cherly Cole shorts

Out shopping...

Off stage, Cheryl looks just as good although if those shorts get much shorter she’ll be walking a bit strangely…

Cheryl Cole bikini shorts

By the sea...

These shorts, or perhaps they’re really bikini bottoms, give the onlooker a 1st class view of that tattoo.  The hat compliments the whole look superbly.

Cheryl Cole green shorts

Cheryl in green...

…..and an older one from the pre-tattoo days.  Again one might argue that it’s more of a bikini than an actual outfit but what the hell,  they’re shorts as far as we’re concerned.

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Looking Back At Football Shorts – Part Two

As we mentioned in the previous article, by the beginning of the 20th century pale knees began to emerge between the shorts and the socks as the league authorities relaxed their regulations.  By 1909 and the FA Cup final between Manchester United and Bristol City, the style of the kits and the length of the shorts were not that much different from those of today, although in the intervening years style have varied.

FA Cup 1909

FA Cup 1909

After a pause for the First World War, the leagues resumed following the conclusion of the conflict and the style of shorts once again seemed to lengthen to almost comic lengths.  Not only did they lower downwards, they also seemed to head upwards to Simon Cowell type areas with the waistband around the navel.

In fact long and baggy shorts remained de rigeur for some years and arguably until the mid-1960s when, perhaps influenced by relaxing social attitudes and other aspects of pop culture, the length of shorts followed the length of skirts and began to shorten.  This was probably a sensible move for the aesthetic quality of the football short and also as an aid to movement for the player – lighter garments did not weigh as heavily as the longer ones.

It all took a turn for the worse in the mid-1970s when shorts began to appear which were

1970s shorts

Unacceptable 1970s shorts

horrifyingly short and tight.  To make matters worse this was an era in which the fashion was for flowing locks and facial hair and spectators were treated to the bizarre sight of large, hairy blokes squeezed into skintight uniforms.  It probably appealed to a certain demographic though…

By the mid to late 1980s, shorts were returning to a style which could once more be deemed acceptable in polite society and perhaps with the advent of the Premier League in 1992 new sartorial standards were set in which the eye of the world was on the players and they knew it.  Hopefully we will never again see shorts which are too short or too long!

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Looking Back At Football Shorts – Part One

We’re not just about foxy chicks wearing shorts on this site; every now and then we like to chuck in an informative article about some short-related subject or other.  So today this is an article about football and how the style of shorts has progressed (or regressed) throughout the decades.

Football, or soccer, is a game which dates back hundreds of years in various forms; have a look at this article about Shrovetide Football.  No-one wore shorts back then though and even when less chaotic rules were formalised in Cambridge in 1848 there were no references to what players should be wearing.  Uniforms came along shortly so that spectators could tell the teams apart and it’s notable that in the early days headgear was also worn.

Darwen 1879

Darwen 1879

The first team to wear something approximating shorts appears to have been Darwen, a northern team comprised of mill workers who reached the FA Cup semi-final against the professional Old Etonians in 1879.  These shorts were essentially cut-off trousers held up by braces and were scoffed at by spectators.

By the late 1880s a number of teams had begun to appropriate this fashion.  The photo below features Burnley FC from the 1889/90 season.

Burnley FC 1889/90

Burnley FC 1889/90

So we now had something approximating shorts which replaced the ‘stockings’ – the full length leggings – which were worn previously.  However the word ‘shorts’ was not one that seems to have been in common usage or in fact any type of usage.  Players were also unable to show any of their pale skin, the long shorts which they wore – ‘knickerbockers’ – were designed to cover their knees and overlapped the long socks below.  This was not by choice – league rules specified this measure.

Anyway, by this point at the end of the 19th century we had something that looked like a pretty standard football kit which features shorts, socks and jersey which was designed as a team uniform.  It wasn’t until the beginning of the next century that the requirement to cover up the knees was relaxed but that’s for Part Two…….

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Natalie Portman and Sienna Miller Wear Short Shorts!

Natalie Portman (watch Your Highness movie trailer) and Sienna Miller share a taste when it comes to short shorts. The same shorts look very different on each – Natalie Portman wears the shorts more elegantly, Sienna Miller is kind of sporty. But both look great.

Natalie's elegant shorts

Natalie's elegant shorts

Sienna's sporty shorts

Sienna's sporty shorts

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