G - Money: At the end of rush week, his brothers shortened his given name, Gonzo, to G. He's been gettin' lots more tail ever since. But come to think of it, the spinners on his purple Accord probably don't hurt much, either.
Junior: Most people would kill to spend a minute inside his convoluted brain and see what it's like to be insane. You remember those kids that always had kool-aid stains all around their mouth? That's Junior. Between fits of anger you can find him curled up in a corner alternating between sucking his thumb and a lolly-pop or a tootsie roll. After years of anger-management, Junior still barely holds it together.
Torenado: Torenado hails from the dark, cold Norwegian tundra of Scandinavia. Thought to be the last living descendant of the Norse god Odin, Tore, second cousin to Thor, rains down hail and vengeance in a whirling tornado dervish of viking power. His trademark bright red beard is thought by many to be the source of his power - he reportedly allows small families of woodland critters to live and thrive within it. Note also that Torenado is NOT a lumberjack, and will likely disembowel those who insinuate otherwise.
Curly: Batman has his utility belt; the Wonder Twins have their rings. Neither wields the panache of the thick tufted terry headband and the super tight crotch of the short shorts he dons. Indeed, the naked eye may mistakenly see a feeble minded, even misguided soul. Yes, lesser men might find themselves alone, mocked even! Not so for Curly. His appetite for the win is overshadowed only by his namesake sparse, yet curly strands that sprout sublimely from his dome.
B love: B Love hails from the great mountainous region of Wyoming by way of San Francisco. His dangerous good looks are only surpassed by the volume of his deafening voice. B Love brings extreme sophistication and class to the Short Shorts organization and is the anchor in our shorts.
The bear: They call him the Bear 'cause he's big and hairy and sometimes he drools a little when he eats. Don't think he's soft because his shorts are so long in the video. He's the only person to get a lifetime short shorts ban, his junk made an unwelcome guest appearance during last year's Office High Chair Jump competition.
Jules: As a former Junior Miss Phoenix, 2nd runner-up, Jules is no stranger to the spotlight. Pluck and gumption are the secret ingredients to her success on this year's office olympics playing field. When she's not sacking and packing turkeys, Jules enjoys sunbathing, sleeping in, and planning long weekend vacations.
Syd vicious: Born in the shoe department at Nordstrom's, Syd Vicious bleeds pink and sweats hair bleach. With a bottle of Patron in one hand and a credit card in the other - you don't mess with this one.